Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
