Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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