Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
