So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
