everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
