I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm going to jail i love you
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
