: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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