Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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