three words: i give head
three words: not that well
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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