I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
