woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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