I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
