where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize