How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
