I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
