glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
