You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
