Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
