I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
FUCK WHALES
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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