i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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