dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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