you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
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afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
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I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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