never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
