remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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