he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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