I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
