made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize