school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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