Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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