Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
