yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
