remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
