after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
