I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
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He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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