He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
