sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
