He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
