my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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