Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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