New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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