And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
