The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
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he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
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I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Can I color on your dick again?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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