just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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