If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize