Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
