Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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