i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
