so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
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I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
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Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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