Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
try to milk me bitch
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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