margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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