White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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