i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
We got so high we made milksteak
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after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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