WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Send help, water and tortillas.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
