I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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