you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
