She is in my trunk
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
