He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
