david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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